And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
