I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Dignity is for republicans.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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