i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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