she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
