no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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