I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
