Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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