he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
