I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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