Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
