with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
This baby is an asshole
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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