Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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