these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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