i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We had sex on a dog bed..
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
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