Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
