I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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