Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
