My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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