your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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