Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
