we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
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