You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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