If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
