I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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