i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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