Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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