I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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