You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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