I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
