Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
