oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
You smell like stripper and shame
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize