even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Randomize
