I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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