Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
