I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm at about main and main street
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
