I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
pray to the hookup gods
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
