Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
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