the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
