So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
