i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My ass is underappreciated
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
