i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
