I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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