I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize