Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize