Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I need a burrito and a hug.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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