so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Randomize
