nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Randomize
