I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
