Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
