You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
