he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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