Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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