You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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