You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
