Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
