let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
she pinky promised me she was 18
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
