I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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