super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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