You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
