uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
