Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
