My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
